Right, lets get straight into this. I have never been a fan of spiders nor will I ever be, they are horrible, they have far to many legs, they are hairy and quite simply pure evil.
Now I don’t profess to know that much about these evil little bastards but after a year of living on Elsa I now truly believe that:-
- They are the spawn of Satan himself.
- Our boat is a portal into the birth place of the entire worlds spider population.
- I am not a superhero
Many a battle was fought in the last year, we had some wins and some losses, we were told that if we place conkers around the boat it would get rid of all the spiders……ermm…… NO, the spiders started using the conkers as extra hiding places, we even caught 22 of them playing football in the lounge with one of these conkers. Eventually just before winter set in, we had made some gains and we thought we had won the war against the spiders as we had managed to reduce their numbers to almost nothing. (this was not without losses, David is still missing)
Did we get complacent ! Did we drop our guard ? Since last week and as each day passes their numbers are increasing once again, if their growth carries on at this speed we will be overrun and unable to defend ourselves by the end of this month.
Let me warn you now, if we are unable to contain this horde and close the portal to spidery hell, the rest of humanity will be at risk, arm your selves now and prepare for the worst, costco currently has a special on bottled water and bully beef (other distributors are available) 😉
This may be the last message you hear from us so we will take this opportunity to wish you all well, this is Mike Delta Charlie Charlie 4 Over and Out.